life

Excellence of Mind and Body: Finding Fulfillment Without Comparison

MAhmed , , , ,

The ancient Spartan ideal, personal aspirations, and the wisdom of living in harmony with ourselves and the world.

I was sharing a message with one of my nephews about his only child, who is writing his dissertation in a highly competitive scientific field at one of the world’s elite universities and has also completed a Half Ironman triathlon. His example reminded me of the ancient Spartan ideal of excellence in mind and body. This prompted a broader reflection on what it means to live a fulfilling life.

What matters most is not how far we surpass others, but how sincerely we pursue our own aspirations, make the best use of our abilities, and develop a sense of contentment with what we accomplish. Equally rewarding is watching others strive toward their own goals and finding joy in their achievements. Their successes can inspire us without becoming standards against which we must measure our own lives.

Each of us has a different combination of abilities, interests, opportunities, and limitations. Consequently, our paths to fulfillment cannot be identical. One person may excel in physical fitness, another in intellectual pursuits, another in artistic creativity, and yet another in caring for family, serving the community, or quietly enriching the lives of those around them. These contributions may differ in visibility and recognition, but each can have its own significance.

The challenge is to discover what genuinely motivates us from within, pursue it with dedication, and recognize when our efforts have brought us a reasonable measure of fulfillment. Ambition can help us grow, but endless comparison can turn achievement into a source of dissatisfaction. We may spend so much time looking at what others have accomplished that we overlook the value of what we ourselves are doing.

This does not mean abandoning ambition or refusing to learn from exceptional people. Rather, it means drawing inspiration from their examples without assuming that we must duplicate their achievements. We can admire excellence while respecting the diversity of human potential.

There is also a connection here with the ancient Greek concept of arete, often understood as excellence or the fulfillment of one’s capacities. The Spartan tradition particularly emphasized physical discipline, courage, endurance, and service to the community. Although its demanding military culture is not a model for every aspect of modern life, its emphasis on discipline and the development of one’s capabilities offers a useful point of reflection. A balanced ideal of excellence today would also include intellectual curiosity, emotional maturity, compassion, and the ability to live meaningfully with others.

My reflection also brings to mind the teachings of Confucius and the philosophical tradition of Daoism, or Taoism, in China.

Confucian philosophy emphasizes self-cultivation, ethical conduct, and fulfilling our responsibilities within our relationships and communities. It reminds us that personal development is not simply about individual achievement or status; it also involves how we treat others and contribute to a harmonious social life.

Reference: Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, “Confucius.”

Daoism offers a complementary perspective by emphasizing the Dao—the Way—and the importance of understanding our place within the natural order. Rather than forcing ourselves into an externally prescribed mold, we can learn to recognize our circumstances, develop our natural capacities, and live with greater balance and less unnecessary striving.

Reference: Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, “Daoism.”

These traditions are distinct, and neither should be reduced to the simple idea that everyone must find one predetermined role. Nevertheless, both invite us to consider how personal fulfillment can coexist with our relationships, responsibilities, and the wider world.

Perhaps the deeper lesson is that life does not offer a single universal measure of success. Our individual callings differ, and so do the ways in which we can contribute. What is admirable is not that everyone achieves the same thing, but that each person makes a sincere effort to develop their abilities and use them meaningfully.

We can pursue excellence without arrogance, appreciate others without envy, and acknowledge our limitations without surrendering our aspirations.

Ultimately, a fulfilling life may be less about winning a race against others and more about discovering which race is worth running for us—and running it as well as we reasonably can.

Let us pursue our own paths with dedication, appreciate the paths of others, and find contentment in the varied ways human beings can contribute to the richness of life.

#Philosophy #Existentialism #Psychology #HumanPotential

Still in the Waiting Room: Aging, Consciousness, and Borrowed Time

MAhmed , , , ,

Josie, my wife in the 90’s married for 57 plus year is cooking karela (bitter melon, a favorite Filipino food) with shrimp today!

For fun, I checked some actuarial information on how many people around 90 might still be married after 50 or more years.

I could not find a reliable statistic for the very specific combination of age, length of marriage, and both spouses still being alive. But it made me realize how unusual our situation may be.

No wonder we sometimes feel that we are living on borrowed time—especially when we consider the statistics for both members of a couple surviving to these ages.

And yet, longevity itself is changing.

More People Are Living Longer

Japan has crossed an extraordinary milestone: more than 100,000 people aged 100 or older.

As of September 2026, the number was reported as 107,677.

At the same time, an entirely different kind of longevity research is developing.

Scientists and biotechnology companies are investigating whether some aspects of cellular aging can be modified through cellular reprogramming, regenerative medicine, and stem-cell-related technologies.

Companies such as Calico and Altos Labs are studying aging and cellular rejuvenation in different ways.

The idea is fascinating:

Perhaps aging is not simply a one-way biological clock. Some processes associated with aging, at least at the cellular level, may someday prove capable of being modified or partially reset.

We are already seeing experimental work involving the eye.

Stem-cell-based approaches are being studied to repair damaged corneal tissue and to replace or restore cells affected by degenerative eye diseases.

Some of these approaches have reached early human clinical trials, although they remain experimental and are very far from demonstrating that human aging itself can be reversed.

And then there is the much larger philosophical question that fascinates me:

What exactly is preserved in biological memory—individual memory, family memory, cultural memory, perhaps even the information carried forward through generations?

That is where science ends for the moment and philosophy begins.

“Amra Je Becha Achi…”

I always remember my dear friend Enam Choudhury, who I have known since we went to college and University together in Dhaka, Bangladesh, who in his later years would greet me by saying:

“Taslim, Amra je becha achi, setai to aschajjer bepar!”

In English, roughly:

“The fact that we are still alive is itself an amazing thing!”

And Hamida Bhabi , my eldest bother National Professor Salahuddin Ahmed‘s wife, would respond to my question about how she was doing:

“We are still in the Waiting Room. The Train may arrive any time…”

So are we.

We are all in the Waiting Room, although none of us knows when our Train will arrive.

Meanwhile, we try to make the most of our conscious existence before moving on to whatever comes next, according to our own individual and collective spiritual beliefs.

So many of the people we loved have already left the Waiting Room.

A Conversation in the Nursing Home

This reminds me of something I once said to one of my clients who was lying in bed in a nursing home, continually complaining about family members and events from the past.

I told her:

“You and I are going to die someday. We don’t know when. Do you want to go angrily, or would you rather go happily and smiling, with your own spiritual beliefs and practices? We all have our own individual and collective beliefs.”

She calmed down.

I was not trying to tell her what to believe.

I was trying to help her shift from repeatedly reliving the past toward the limited but still meaningful present.

Perhaps that is one of the things we can do while we are still in the Waiting Room.

The Train may arrive any time.

Until then, there is still life to live before we pass on to our next stage of Eternal Existence within the Unity of One, whether understood through religious and spiritual faith-based beliefs and practices or through cosmological, science-based perspectives.

Grief, Quantum Physics and Eternal Spirit

MAhmed , , , ,

The following message is adapted from a deeply personal letter I wrote to my daughter-in-law in response to the eulogy she delivered at the memorial service for our only child, who passed away from cancer. Although I could not attend due to hospitalization, I was deeply moved by her words and felt compelled to record my own thoughts—rooted in personal grief and lifelong philosophical reflection. My aim was not only to share them with her but also with the wider community, hoping they might resonate with others who have endured loss.

This expression weaves together faith-based beliefs from many traditions and science-based understandings of the cosmos, particularly through the lens of quantum physics, as I have come to know from popular science readings, my background in philosophy and clinical psychology, decades of professional practice, and personal spiritual reflections enriched by poets and thinkers.

“…While standing beside my son’s grave, memories flooding in, I feel my body vibrate with his presence—as quantum entanglement suggests, linked at the micro-electrical levels of our existence—a connection deepened through our lived experiences together. Just as entangled particles reflect each other’s state instantly across distance, I believe that deep emotional and spiritual bonds endure beyond physical separation. Love, shared experiences, and presence form invisible threads—quantum echoes of eternal connection—mirroring spiritual beliefs in unity within the realm of the One.

This idea—of love and presence transcending form—appears in the poetry of Rabindranath Tagore, Nobel laureate and philosopher-poet of Bengal. As a child, I came to love and memorize his poems, and I often listen to his songs while driving. In Jokhon Porbe Na Mor Payer Chinho Ei Bate (“When My Footprints No Longer Mark This Path”), he writes:

When my footprints will no longer mark this path, I will have left behind name and form and gone afar— Yet I shall return again and again, in new names, In fresh forms—carrying the same eternal self.

Rumi, the 13th-century Persian Sufi mystic, whose work I came to appreciate more deeply through my association with your Azeri Iranian father, affirms:

“Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.” “Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. For those who love with heart and soul, there is no separation.”

My wife, our son’s beloved Filipino mother, finds solace in her Catholic faith and its promise of eternal life.

My father, A.A.F. Mohi, who lived in the Indian subcontinent, offered a Muslim Quranic perspective in his poem Life and Death:

“…Man must die, Await the inevitable moment, With only consolation in spirit… Verily to God we belong, And to Him we return.”

Such beliefs resonate with the Hindu concept of moksha, the Christian hope of resurrection, and the Buddhist understanding of nirvana—the ultimate release from human wants and suffering, and the merging of the soul with the One Ultimate Reality.

The popular Irish ballad “Danny Boy,” which I often listen to—and which your late beloved Irish American mother must have loved—echoes this timeless connection:

“But come ye back when summers in the meadow, Or when the valley’s hushed and white with snow… ’Tis I’ll be here in sunshine or in shadow…”Across spiritual traditions, there is this shared belief in an enduring, all-pervading consciousness—from which all life emerges and to which it ultimately returns.

Whether expressed as the Atman–Brahman unity of Vedanta, the Spiritus Mundi of mystical Christianity, Tawhid in Islam, or Ein Sof in Kabbalistic Judaism, the message is the same:

The soul belongs to a greater, eternal Reality of the One, present both within us and all around us. This truth finds echo in the gift hanging I saw on your door the other day—a sign that reads, “Hush, listen carefully, I am around, ” a reminder of our son’s continuing presence.

Remembering Dostoevsky: on the Eve of My Brother’s Death and Our Human Longing for Eternal Connection

..That night, some 25 years ago, as we said goodnight, my brother appeared frightened and anxious. My eldest sister began to pray. One of us—I no longer remember who—spoke softly about not being afraid of whatever lay ahead, about how we would all be together again someday, reunited with those living and those gone. These thoughts were spoken aloud, almost in unison, as if we were reassuring not only him, but ourselves.

At that moment, the final pages of The Brothers Karamazov came vividly to mind.

The children, mourning the death of their young friend, ask Alyosha: “Can it be true, as they teach us, that we shall all rise again from the dead and shall live and see each other again, all of us?”

To which Alyosha replies: “Certainly, we shall all rise again, certainly we shall see each other, and shall tell each other with joy and gladness all that has happened.”

What we were saying that night echoed this passage almost word for word—that we would surely see each other again and be together someday in another world. Though my brother and I were not people of prayer, we joined in emotionally and sincerely, repeating what my deeply religious sister uttered. I saw a faint smile, a sense of peace, settle on my brother’s face.

In that moment, I experienced a profound sense of unity—not only with those in the room, but with all who were dear to me: friends and “kind strangers,” loved ones and admired figures no longer alive. It felt as if all were momentarily gathered in a shared affirmation. I sensed an eerie yet deeply comforting connection to Dostoevsky’s ending—a confirmation that human beings, across cultures and centuries, return to the same hope when facing the final mystery….”

Relativity of Time

Some physicists suggest that time itself is not absolute but relational—what we call the “past” may still exist in another form of “now.” Einstein once wrote to the widow of his close friend, Michele Besso, that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a “stubbornly persistent illusion.” In quantum theory, a particle can exist in two states at once, hinting at a multiverse where past, present, and future coexist.

Whether expressed through physics, poetry, religion, or philosophy, one truth endures: love is not limited by time. Our son’s kindness, laughter, and devotion are not lost. His presence—and the memories of all our loved ones—live within us, resonating across both the quantum realm of physical reality and the Eternal Spirit within the Reality of One.

In conclusion, reading the eulogy of my daughter-in-law echoed the depth of our shared grief and enduring love, reminding us of the “eternal connection” that binds us all. We draw strength from our memories, from one another, and from the many ways our son—beloved husband, devoted father, cherished family member, loyal friend, and valued presence—lives on: within time, beyond form, and always in spirit, as do the loved ones and all those with whom we formed meaningful connections in our lived experience.

#LossAndHealing #SacredConnection #PhilosophyOfLife #Consciousness #AfterlifeConnection #SpiritualContinuity #GriefJourney #QuantumEntanglement #LoveBeyondTime #ScienceAndSoul #InvisibleThreads #MemoryAndPresence #EntangledSouls #Tagore #MysticalPoetry #EternalReturn #Reincarnation #TimelessSoul #RumiWisdom #SoulLove #NoSeparation #UniversalSpirit #SacredContinuum #WorldFaiths #InterfaithWisdom #FaithAndGrief #SpiritualUnity #CatholicFaith #LifeAndDeathPoem #MuslimPoetry #DivineReturn #QuranicWisdom #Moksha #Resurrection #Nirvana #SacredDestiny #SpiritualCycle #ManyToOne #CosmicOneness #PoeticEternity #CycleOfLife #PresenceBeyondForm #NatureAndSpirit #IrishBallads #LegacyOfLove #CelticMemory #PersianPoet #EvolutionOfSoul #RumiOnLife #TimelessLove #SpiritualPhysics #SacredEnergy #NonlinearTime #PhysicsAndTime #SharedGrief #EternalGratitude #UnityInSpirit #HumanExpression #AuthenticReflection #HealingWithWor

Reflections on Time, Perception, and Existence

MAhmed , , , ,

When I was young, time seemed to stretch endlessly. Waiting—whether for school to end, for playtime to begin, or simply to grow older—felt like an eternity. Every moment was vivid, filled with anticipation and curiosity. And yet, when immersed in play or joy, time felt boundless, as though those moments could last forever.

Now, at the late age decades of my life feel like the blink of an eye, a fleeting flash in the vast expanse of existence. Days, months, and years pass with astonishing speed, slipping through my grasp before I fully register them. This stark contrast in how I have experienced time across my life has led me to reflect deeply on its nature.

Drawing from philosophy and clinical psychology training and professional practice as a psychologist, and my life experiences with recent explorations into popular science, particularly quantum physics, I have come to accept that time is profoundly relative. Einstein’s theories of relativity revolutionized our understanding of time, demonstrating that it is not an absolute, fixed entity but instead depends on movement and perspective. His famous thought experiment involving identical twins offers a compelling illustration: if one twin travels through space at near-light speed while the other remains on Earth, the traveling twin would return younger, having experienced time more slowly relative to the twin on Earth. This phenomenon is not just theoretical; it is a measurable aspect of our universe.

Beyond the grand scale of relativity, I have also considered how biology shapes our perception of time. When we are young, our metabolic rate is faster. This heightened internal rhythm correlates with a slower perception of time—each moment feels rich and expansive. As we age and our metabolism slows, our perception of time accelerates; days feel shorter, years slip by faster, and life, in retrospect, compresses into a series of fleeting memories.

This interplay between biology and perception raises a profound question: Could all living organisms, regardless of their lifespan, experience time similarly? A fruit fly, for example, may live for mere days, while humans typically live for decades. Yet, due to its accelerated metabolic rate, a fruit fly’s perception of those days might feel as lengthy and meaningful as a human’s perception of 80 years. If we frame time as something experienced rather than objectively measured, then the brevity of a fly’s life and the longevity of a human’s might, in some sense, be equivalent in subjective experience.

In this way, time is not just a physical dimension governed by relativity; it is also a deeply personal, biological, and psychological construct. The perception of time arises from a confluence of factors: the external, such as movement and the passage of events, and the internal, such as our biological rhythms and mental states.

As I reflect on my eighty-five plus years of life, I see it not just as a journey through a timeline but as a mosaic of experiences shaped by this dynamic interplay of physics and biology. The young perceive time as expansive because their world is new, their curiosity boundless, and their internal rhythms quickened. The old perceive time as fleeting because their world has grown familiar, their moments are cherished in hindsight, and their internal clocks tick slower. Time is both a universal and deeply personal paradox that binds us all, regardless of how long we live or how we perceive the passing days. It is a reminder to treasure the fleeting moments we have, knowing that in some profound way, they may be infinite in their significance.

Acknowledgments: This writing is inspired by a lifetime of learning and reflection, enriched by my professional experiences in psychology, and early graduate training in philosophy, and influenced by the insights of great thinkers in philosophy and science as well as recent reading of popular science books. I was aided in the editorial process with AI.

Copyright: © [ 2025] [Mohiuddin Ahmed, Ph.D.]. All rights reserved. This document or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in critical reviews or scholarly work.